Hey! It's my life!

I’ve just watched “ the lovely bones” movies and I am not quite happy with the ending. I know the killer finally died, he slipped into a ravine and died alone, cold, buried in snow. I guess it’s God’s punishment to him…but still..I’m not quite happy! He must be punished into jail, he must endure a painful time all of his life in prison..then he died miserably! Ok! Ok! I’m too overwhelmed! But I hate to see the killer go free like that! He can run and live like nothing happen even after the evidence was found. Well,actually, it’s a happy ending movie. The family finally moves on, they live happily, the death girl finally understood that she must let go of her hatred so she could go to heaven. But, I’m still pondering what if..what if..and what if I control the story? It will be better than the movie, rite? Am I rite? Am I rite? According to whom? me? Yeah! Of course!

This comes to my thoughts..if I had a privilege to control my own life story, what would it be? I could control where I want to be born, from what kind of family, what kind of heritage, the way I look (I’m pretty already? Am i? thank you! Thank you! ^_^), where did I go to schools, my talents and skills (wow!), my love story (ahem!* clearing throats*), my friends, my career, my wealth, etc..Wouldn’t it be nice and wonderful? I can do whatever I want, hey! I control my own world! It’s my life! *It’s my life-Bon Jovi echoing*

Part Two! Ok! Let say I had that special ‘gift’ to control my own life! But sometimes things don’t go as we expect rite? What if the economic collapses, natural disasters are everywhere, my loved ones get sick and died, or I got an accident and become disabled (extremely saying). Those things are the things that I can’t control since I can only control my OWN life! Surely it’s unrelated to others’ life or to the world, isn’t it? So, what is my pride then?

Part three! Another scenario! If I’m to control my own life, what would it be? I mean the scenario of my life. Surely, I will put all the best stories in my life. No sadness, no disappointment, no heart aches, no tears, no sickness? Ok, that’s too much! Mmm..maybe a little bit disappointment and heart aches (just a lil bit, pls?) but voila! I’d overcome it then live happily, a little bit sickness (a light one, ok?uhm..like flu, headache and cough?) then got healed (just take aspirin and Panadol, Alice!) That would be a nice story! According to whom? me again? Uhmm…it’s all about me, after all!

What if..IF! IF? IF God grants me this silly-selfish-careless wish of mine, what will happen next? First thing for sure, I WILL forget and leave God. Why would I need Him anyway? Hey! I can control my life! I don’t need His guidance. I don’t care about other people as long as I’m happy. What would I bother about others? *knock knock! Anybody home?* *could you please take a look at part two above* everybody needs God, even when they say they don’t! Want a proof? When disasters come, all those miserable humans who endure it, they will try to find God or gods. They cry desperately for help, and knowing the human can’t help, they will cry for the utmost source of help. Normally people don’t look for God when everything seems ok. But when they face trouble, they know God is the only One who can help, they will cry “O God, please help me! O God! O my God!“

Luckily, I don’t have that kind of silly privilege. If yes, the story would be a boring movie to others who watch it (even it’s a nice story according to me alone). What is the beautiful story then? If the story is to be a beautiful symphony that others can enjoy like comforting those who are hurt since I was hurt before, feeling the pain of others since I know what it feels like, be a strength to the weak, and so on and so on (u name it)…then who do I trust my life with?

Jer 9:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Life is not about our own happiness. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. Read more...

My self reminder resolution

1. Be Humble!
God favors the humble but He opposes the proud.

2. Listen more, talk less!
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.

3. Don’t be a procrastinator!
Do what you can do today, don’t delay until ‘tomorrow’

4. Give more and spend less!
The more you give, the more you will receive.

5. Keep on praying!
Remember praying is breathing, stop praying means stop breathing.

6. Feed your soul with good input!
Bad input equals to bad output. Spend your time to dig God’s words.

7. Don’t make promises that you cannot fulfill!
If you don’t mean it, just don’t say it.

8. Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically and willingly as working for the Lord, not for men.
God alone will reward your works.

9. Give thanks and don’t complain!
There are ALWAYS thousand reasons to give thanks than one reason to complain about. It’s just not worth it.

10. Don’t forget to smile, sing, play and laugh out loud!

I wrote this three days ago when I lay down on my bed, alone and sick. There are so many things that piled up in my little head. I used to write my resolution every year. I want to achieve this, I want to get this, I want to be this, and so on. But this year, I want to remind my self again and again about this 'self reminder resolution". What about my 2011 resolution? Sure! I still have it, tho! But I find this self reminder as a built-in character for reaching my goals.

Read more...

A woman of Faith

A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope. She knows of His interest in her life. She knows that He knows her. She loves His words and drinks deeply of that living water. She is grateful for the prophet He has sent for these latter days, and she trusts his counsel and follows it, for she knows that by so doing she will find safety and peace. In prayer she seeks the kind, unfaltering guidance and help of a listening Heavenly Father. As she prays, she listens—allowing the communication to be two-way. She trusts that in His still and quiet way, He will lead her by the hand and give her answer to her prayers.

A woman of faith is confident because she understands the divine plan of our Heavenly Father and her role to bless lives. She is confident that any sacrifice she makes is worth something in an eternal sense. She knows about sacrifice from knowing of the life of the Savior.

Her confidence grows because she is virtuous and lovely and gracious, which is even better than beautiful. She has pure motives. She is loving and gentle and kind. The hearts of her husband and her children safely trust in her. And so do the children or youth or women that she has been called to teach, lead, serve, and love—they are drawn to her because of that special spirit that she radiates. It is the image of God that she has in her countenance that is appealing and important.She is confident that she is fashioning a character and a record of performance that will be invited to stand in the presence of her Heavenly Father. She will be able to do so with the sense that she fully belongs there, that she is known by Him and loved and valued and treasured forever and always.

A woman of faith is fearless. She fears no evil, for God is with her. There is no ambiguity, no uncertain trump in her life. She can live a principled life because she studies the doctrine and teachings of a perfect teacher, the Master. She is a noble example to all who know her. She is less than perfect, of course, not because she doesn’t have perfect principles or the perfect example in Christ, but because she is human. She stays away from the evil influence and the unclean thing, and if it encroaches on her territory, she is as a lioness protecting her cubs. A fearless woman of faith has the courage to talk with her children about practices which would destroy them. They not only hear her discuss her commitment, but they see her commitment in her daily living—in the way she dresses, what she reads and watches, how she spends her leisure time, what she loves and laughs at, whom she attracts, and how she acts at all times, in all things, and in all places. She has a certain style of her own that is attractive and joyful and bright and good.

**by Margaret D. Nadauld**

Turning your ashes into beauty by being a woman of faith Read more...

Why O Why?

Why does the sun keep on shining?

Why do the birds keep on singing?

Why do the rivers keep on flowing?

Why does my heart keep on beating?

Why does my mind keep on thinking?

Why does my lung keep on breathing?

I am alive...yes, I am alive...

to witness the wonder of Your power

to taste the sweetness of Your love

to admire the beauty of Your presence

Zhe yang ye hao..zhende bu cuo...

Bu yao bie de, shi ma?

sarangni...

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A Cinderella Story

I believe all of you know the Cinderella story. The beautiful girl who was mistreated by her stepmom and stepsisters. She was not allowed to go out and had to serve her step-mom and stepsisters like a servant. Despite the cruel treatment, Cinderella still had a kind heart, she was lovely, cheerful, and obedient. A fairy godmother helped her to meet a prince in a dance party that was celebrated in a palace. Things were too good to be true until...12 PM! woof!
She ran away from the prince and left one of her glass shoe that she wore that night
yeah u know the rest of the story...

*pause*
what if the fairy godmother didn't give her a time limit at 12 pm?
what if Cinderella didn't leave one of her shoe?
what if...what if...

if the fairy godmother didn't give her a time limit..maybe Cinderella would have danced till morning, then, what will happen next? maybe the charming prince will let Cinderella stay in the palace and lived happily ever after...too short? is it a good ending? what will happen to her step mom and sisters?
or
what if Cinderella didn't leave one of her shoe? maybe she went home and daydreaming all day about the prince, and she could not stop admiring her beautiful glass shoes. she kept the shoes in a private place and the prince couldn't have any clues how to find her!
or
Did Cinderella regret so much of being clumsy and she left one of her shoe? she cried all of her days and blamed her carelessness? what's the use of a shoe? she couldn't wear it! it had to be one pair to wear the shoes, right?

instead...
She was still the same Cinderella, she was still cheerful, she was still doing what she's doing faithfully (by being a slave!). She even didn't know that the prince became restless by searching her anywhere and the whole kingdom was shaken! It was a great mission! mission impossible? maybe...
the heartless stepmom locked her in a room, so the kingdom officer couldn't try the glass shoe on her. Cinderella didn't give up! she didn't surrender with the condition, with the help of her little friends, she came out from the locked room. She put on the shoe and it fit perfectly! she even proved herself that she was the real owner of the glass shoe by showing the other shoe :) the story continued..she lived happily ever after..finish? not yet..she even showed her kindness to her stepmom and stepsisters by taking them to the palace! wow! they were so deeply touched and felt really sorry by their cruel mistreatment to cinderella..that's the real happy ending...

ok, Alice! what are you trying to say? we already knew the story...

Just imagine..you are the Cinderella..
me? i'm a man! no way!
No..no! i'm not saying that u have to be a woman to be a cinderella...oopss..
Okay..imagine this situation..you endure a bad time in your life..you feel helpless, restless...things are not getting better each day..you cry "the world is not fair!" yes, it's not fair, baby! you pray and pray alot..and you made mistakes and you regretted, how much you wish you never did such stupid mistake!
you had a chance to have a pair of good shoes, but u left one side!
The world is not ending yet..the sun is still shining..the birds are still singing...and the wind is still blowing thru your frowned face :)
You still have one side of the glass shoe, rite? keep it...treasure it..guard it...don't make another mistake by breaking the other half...
keep doing what you are doing now (even sometimes it's not fair) faithfully, cheerfully, obediently...you never know that God is at work now. He is busily working for good to those who love Him..

~~Cinderella wanna be~~ Read more...

Twinkle twinkle little star

This is just like the other nights, the sky is still the same..
The weather is still warm and a little bit hotter, just like usual. I guess the global warming is not only a hot issue that everyone talking about, but everybody knows and feels it, even some people choose to ignore it and live carelessly, "who is going to care for the earth? the earth is old already, baby! so...?"

I looked upon the sky and wished to look at the starry night.
It's so clear...not even a tiny-cutie-twinkling star wants to show up its light tonite...
I recalled a beautiful night some years ago when I was on a trip to Lampung...
I came out in the night to find fresh air, I stood astonished as I looked the sky above. It was so beautiful! it's a starry night! It's like the horizon was filled with lights, like a christmas light on a christmas tree. I've never seen things like that before. Yes, I often see stars in the sky, but can you imagine the sky's filled with the stars! the whole horizon! Yes! a million of stars that can be seen as a diffuse band of light stretching across the night sky...

but tonite...
I couldn't see the stars...but does it mean the stars are disappearing? the stars are not there? or God has removed the stars from the Milky Way?
If I couldn't see it...does it mean other people in the other part of the earth also couldn't see it?
So where are the stars? why do sometimes they are exist? and sometimes they are hiding?
Is that something wrong with the sky? or something wrong with my eyes?

well...one thing for sure..
The stars are still there...even I couldn't see it with my own eyes...
I guess that's faith...
"That is why we live by believing and not by seeing." 2 Cor 5:7




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This is what I know

I know I am forgiven
I know I am saved
I know I am set free
I know I am blessed
I know I am loved

I know I am never forsaken
I know I am never abandoned
I know I am never ignored

I know His words never fail
I know His love endures
I know His promises are true
I know...
I know it..
This is what I know Read more...

C-L-O-S-E-R

C (Come) Come to Him

L (Lean) Lean on Him

O (Open) Open your Bible

S (Surrender) Surrender your hope

E (Eternalize) Eternalize your mind

R (Release) Release everything to God

Taken from the worn out woman

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Days of the week...

I call today “Glorious Monday”, tomorrow will be “Amazing Tuesday”, then “Wonderful Wednesday” will be a day ahead. And I’ll be prepared for the “Exciting Thursday”. Surely, I’ll be ready for the “Incredible Friday”. Praise God, “Beautiful Saturday” is expecting me. Then “Joyful Sunday” will complete my days.

“So teach us to number our days, so that we may bring a heart of wisdom” Psalms 90:11

O Happy Morning, today is a special day for me coz I know this is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. What a Fabulous Afternoon! Your Hands and Your presence are guiding me throughout this afternoon. Your tender mercy and faithfulness fill me in this Great Evening. I will lay my head down upon Your arms and rest in a Peaceful Night.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalms 23:6
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Is That You?

Sometimes I ask self, “how can I survive in this cruel & heartless world?”
Life is so uncertain, so blur, unstable and unpredictable.
People come and go, they’re born and die.
They grow old and withered.
The proud of the youth is a vanity, the strength may dissapear in a blink, the wealth goes like a lightning…

Then…
I see the sky above and look at those giant clouds, I wonder is that You waving to me?
I feel the breeze at my face, are You kissing me?
I smell the fragrance of the rain, are You just passing by?
I look at the colors of field and the beauty of flowers, is that Your shadow?
I hear the bird singing..are You whistling?
I hear the waves of the ocean, is that You whispering me ?
I touch the flowing streams, I feel the cold night, I feel the warm of the sunshine
Are You hugging me and covering me with Your blanket of love?
I breathe, I run, I jump and I dance…
Yes, I am shouting, “is that You? are You there?”

I cannot escape from You, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide…
U are all around me..
You blend Yourself in nature and You fill the earth with Your magnificent works
and nature itself reflects Your majesty…
lemme touch the nature and lemme touch You..
Is it true what You’re saying that I’m Your own and You are responsible with mylife?
No better guarantee than You, mon Dieu! Read more...

I still have it...

I really don’t lose hope
I really don’t lose strength
I really don’t lose faith
And I believe it still can move the mountain…


I still have dreams
I still have love
I still have joy
I still can share them…


I still have loving family
I still have caring friends
I still have awesome and mighty God
I still can enjoy life


Even life is a mystery and filled with misery
But…
I still can find love in a world filled with anger
I still can find hope in a world filled with sorrow
I still can find faith in a world filled with uncertainty
I still know I will survive if these three things stand…

Faith, hope and love…
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Learning to trust God

“Do you believe in God?”
Of course! I do believe in God!
“Do you trust God?”
Err?yup!
“Do you trust God with all of your life? Without any doubts?”
Uhm…I guess so…



Trust = Firm belief in someone or something; acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation



Trusting God is really not a simple thing! It’s a process! Let me tell you an example…



I used to play a game with my brother when we were kids. This game was based on trust;
We called it “blind man walking”.
The blind man must walk with eyes closed from a certain spot to a desired spot. The rule was simple, do not open the eyes, when he opens his eyes, he lose the game! But the good news is the blind man won’t walk alone. He’s accompanied by a partner who holds his hand all the time, and directs him to the desired spot with his voice. The blind man just listens to his partner’s voice.



We used to play in our small house where things all around. When I became ‘the partner’ I gave my instructions very clearly (I guess so), “there’s a chair in front of you, move your steps to the rights!” “on your left is a cupboard, oh! you almost step on a magazine!” it’s not only that, sometimes I grabbed his hand or pulled him harshly to avoid him hit something.


When it’s my turn to be ‘the blind man’, I couldn’t trust my brother. I always thought his instructions were not so clear or too late. Once I hit something ahead, then I blamed him. “why didn’t you warn me?”, “I did, but you move faster than me before I warned you!” he replied.
“be careful! Move to your right!” he shouted
I asked, “how far?”, “hmm…maybe it’s about three steps!” then I walked three big steps to the right, and I hit a wall!
“hey, u said ‘three steps’!” I complained.
“yup, but not big steps, small steps!”
we always argued when he became a partner in that game!
I thought I had to memorize every corner and every things in my house for that game.



A bigger challenge in that game was come to my mind;
We played it on the street when we went home after school.
We could hear the cars, motorcycle, and everything on the streets, and there were many holes on the streets where we used to walk.
I knew how danger it was, so I held my brother’s hand tightly and he did also, he just closed his eyes and listened to my instructions.
“sista, there’s a car in front of us! Is it going to hit us?” his voice raised panickly.
“nope, don’t be afraid!”
“but I hear its voice so clearly! Pretty closed!”
“don’t worry, it’s going to turn right, see? it’s gone!”
Sometimes when things run well, I just remained silent, and my brother became panic “sista, are you still there?” “sure! Can’t you feel my hands?”
“but why you are silent?” “I will never leave you, dear!”
But when it’s my turn to be ‘the blind man’, I learned it’s not an easy thing to trust all of my steps (life) with my brother. I was always tempted to open my eyes!and I prefer to lose the game than trusting him.



The game above is like my life when walking with God.
Can I really trust Him when I live my life?
Do I hear his voice when He gave his instructions or I just worry and listen to others’ voice?
Do I always take the initiate to walk and ignore to His guidance? Remember, God knows all! past, present and future! He knows the best for us, but we always think and act as we know better than God, sometimes we ‘teach’ Him how to lead us, how to bless us and how to satisfy our wants!
Yet, we still worry too much.
Have you ever thought it’s like insulting the Lord by not trusting Him who promised “For I know the purposes which I am purposing for you, says the Lord; purposes of peace and not of evil; to give you a future and a hope” Jer 29:11, NIV. Read more...